My Love is Leaving Me
by funnygirlOoObroadwaybaby
Summary: He knew this would hurt me more than killing her right away. She was hurt, and he wouldn't help. He was making me sit here and watch her die slowly. I watched the life drift out of her face, and it was the worst thing I had ever seen.
1. Chapter 1

**Out of 3 new ideas since "With You I Am," this is the first one I've managed to write down on paper and actually like! I hope u guys like it too, and REVIEWS are always appreciated!**

**Haha, Lisbon94, we rock:**

**"Lisbon94 and funnygirlOoObroadwaybaby make FF history by letting their readers know they are not depressed, just depressing!"**

**We like writing angst, it's easier! But we need no therapist referrals, thank u! :D 3 lol**

**Anyway, RR&E!**

_Disclaimer- just borrowing :)_

I couldn't believe I had fallen for the trap; and I had taken Jane down with me. We had walked right into this. Jane had taken me there, but I'm the officer, I should have known better. It's my job to keep him safe and I failed. We were both in so much danger that our minds couldn't begin to comprehend it. Red John had us. We were caught; stuck, and couldn't get out.

I paced back and forth, back and forth, over and over, trying to come up with some idea, some plan that would help us escape.

"Quit pacing." Jane said from the floor where he was lying with his eyes closed. I could see his eyes move under his eyelids, scanning his brain for his own idea. I don't how he knew I was pacing, but I sat down, on the floor as there was no furniture in the empty concrete room. I could tell he was shocked at how easily I gave in, but we were both nervous, and there was no reason to cause an argument.

"What are we going to do?" I held my head in my hands, "We'll be dead by tomorrow if we don't get out of here!"

"We'll figure something out." How was he so calm? We were captured by one of the most wanted serial killers, and he was lying there with his eyes closed! I had to do something or I was going to go crazy.

"The team has to go to headquarters at some point, right? They'll realize we are missing, they have to!" I hoped. I prayed.

"Even if they know we are missing how will they know to look here?" Jane sat up, unwanted frustration booming in his voice, "Sorry, it's just-"

"I know." I cut him off. I knew what he was talking about. We were both stressed. We needed to find a way to get out, and fast. A sudden shiver took over my body. It was a mixture of fear, and actually being cold. "It's freezing in here." I suddenly regretted taking off my jacket at the office, although, how could I have known this was where I was going to end up?

Jane took his jacket off and laid it over my shoulders. I looked up and smiled, gaining a smile back. I didn't have time to enjoy his smile, as the second he did, the door flung open. I felt my breath escape me as I flung around to see who had come. Not that I needed to see. I already knew. It was Red John, coming to torture us. Or, even kill us.

"Hello Mr. Jane, Ms Lisbon." the man said, stepping slowly into the room, shutting the door with an echoing slam. He had a mask on, not allowing Jane or I to finally see who the man who had been torturing Jane for years truly was.

"You have me, why don't you just let her go?" Jane begged, gesturing to me. I wasn't going to leave Jane here alone with Red John, but I didn't have time to refuse.

"Let Ms Lisbon go? Oh, now how would that be any fun at all? She **_is_** the party games." Red John's tone sent a tingling down my spine. I knew now that I probably wasn't going to get out of here alive.

Just then, four men came in, two going to Jane, and two coming to me. One stepped behind me and covered my mouth with his gloved hand. I tried to scream, but it came out as a quiet muffled sound. He put one arm around my waste, pulling me toward the back of the room, no matter how much I kicked or swung my arms. The other man went to the chains on the wall, chaining my hands into the air on either side. The man behind me let me go and came to face me.

"You don't want to scream, unless you'd like to see Red John truly angry." the man whispered, in a sincere voice. "I'm sorry." could he be a prisoner, captured, also, by Red John?

I tried to take the advice of the man, who obviously knew better. I held it in. I tried. But I looked over to Jane. His eyes weeped as he was forced to look in my direction. What was happening. Everything was just going so fast. Then I knew the source of his tears as I looked forward and saw the man with the mask. Red John was standing not even one inch away from me.

"Hello Teresa." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I could think of nothing else that would give me pleasure and Mr Jane sorrow other then, well, what I'm about to do." his hands slowly appeared on my waste.

"Please, don't." I begged. He ignored me, sliding his hands up my sides and beside my chest. "Get your hands off of me!" I kicked forward, kicking him in the shin.

"SHIT!" he hollered, spinning around, taking his hands off of me and becoming out of my reach. But I continued to kick, hoping to keep him away as long as I could. "IDIOTS!" he screamed, obviously talking about the two men who had tied me up. He grabbed one of my ankles, holding as I continued to try to shake myself free. Red John pounded my foot against the wall behind me, chaining it up with a chain that either the men had forgotten about, or tried to not use to help me. Either way, both of my ankles were caught now as he finished the next one, and there was no way I could push him away as he ran his hands up and down my sides again. I turned my head to the side, where I could see Jane crying as his head was forced in my direction.

"Please! No! Don't!" I screamed. He ignored me, slowly unbuttoning my pants and pulling them down. It was horrible. Just like... the last time. I tried to force the memories out of my head and focus on what was happening to me now. I squirmed. It didn't do much, but it did delay him from touching me any more.

"Stop!" he pushed me back against the wall, my head hitting first. I could feel a dark haze taking over my mind, covering my view, and a soft whistling begin in my ears. But I refused to give up. This time I screamed. I didn't scream any word, I just screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone, somewhere might hear me. "Shut up!" Red John boomed.

"No! Let us out of here!" my common sense was out the window by this point. I knew he wasn't going to let us free, and screaming would only make things worse.

"Hahaha, right." he said, punching me in the face and sending my head back again against the concrete wall.

Now the dark was taking over my whole vision. I closed my eyes and let my head hang, using my strength to stay conscious, I listened and I felt. I listened to Jane cry in agony as he watched me get violated, screaming, begging for Red John to stop, to just kill him instead. I felt Red John's hands slide all over me, feeling every part of my body. I couldn't do anything about it, other than just hang there. Was that how this was going to end? Me chained up on the wall, blood pooling in my mouth, being raped by a serial killer? Then I felt him- I felt him- I felt nothing. I heard nothing. I saw nothing. I blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiiiii :) *guilty smile* soooo I haven't updated this in.. well, forever (well, about 5/6 months) but I am back! I will try to update this more, I promise!**

**I hope you all like this! I wrote it in the car today (about 10 hours in the car in all today, joy…) and I hope there arn't too many mistakes! Well, please review and let me know if I should continue!**

**Thanks to you all, and Happy Holidays! :D**

_Disclaimer- nopeee :) it's on my Christmas list tho, if you all are wonderin what to get me ;D_

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Chapter 2

He left her hanging there. Her pants lay on the ground beneath her but he had pulled her underwear back up before leaving with the other men. Jane raced up to her as soon as they let him go. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly and stroking her hair.

"It'll be okay, it'll be okay," he lifted her up to loosen the grip the chains had on her wrists and slid her hands out, draping her over his shoulder as he undid the chains around her ankles. She still lay lifeless in his arms as he sat onto the floor and cradled her in his arms. He hugged her to him, rocking back and forth, trying to comfort both of them. She finally stirred, whimpering slightly as she moved. Jane watched as her eyes began to flutter. He spoke softly to her, "it's okay," he stroked her cheek. Her eyes soon opened and focused onto his face. She looked confused and she instantly looked down at her bare legs. Her eyes opened wide and she started to sit up quickly, only to be stopped by a sharp pain in her head and she fell back into Jane's arms.

"Jane?" she moaned. He picked up his jacket that was laying on the floor beside them and pulled it over her legs.

"Don't worry, you're okay. We'll be okay." he said, more to himself than the trembling Lisbon in his arms.

"What... where..." she looked around, confused and scared.

"Shhh... don't talk. Just stay still for a while." he let her bury her head into his arms. She obviously was in a lot of pain, otherwise she would have struggled out of his arms and yelled at him for holding her like that in the first place. They sat together for a while, Jane running his hands through her hair comfortingly until he found his hand covered in something red and sticky. He felt around her hair more, not finding any fresh blood but blood matted throughout her hair. He figured it had bled when she first hit her head, luckily it wasn't bleeding any more. After a while of sitting stilly on the floor, he finally lifted her into his arms and carried her towards where her pants lay on the floor, spreading his jacket onto the floor with one hand and laying her down on top of it.

"Jane," Lisbon called out, her head swaying side to side.

"I'm here, I'm just helping get your pants back on so you won't be so cold." he grabbed her pants and slid her legs into them, gently pulling them up, feeling uncomfortable touching his boss in this way. He finally got them on all the way and buttoned them. Jane sat on the ground again and pulled Lisbon back onto his lap. He didn't know what time it was, but he could feel his eyes begin to close. As he lay back, he made sure Lisbon was comfortably laying by his side before drifting off into a deep sleep, praying to god someone would find them soon. Who knew what else Red John had in store for his two favourite play things.

oOo

Jane woke up a few hours later, or at least it felt it, he really had no idea. Lisbon was still by his side, but she was curled up now, leaning into him as she shivered in the cold. He sat up slowly, careful not to wake Lisbon. Leaning over, he pulled his jacket over her arms. Jane stood and walked across the room. And back. And across. And back. Pacing back and forth, trying to calm himself. What were they going to do? Where were they? How were they supposed to get out? Just then, the chains on the opposite side of the door began to rattle and it soon swung open and Red John stepped in, his eyes falling first on Jane but setting on Lisbon who lay curled on the floor.

"Aw you took care of her." he smiled coldly, "That's cute."

"Why are you doing this to her? She hasn't done anything to you. If you want to hurt me, hurt me, but leave her." Jane said, rushing to Lisbon's side as she began to stir.

"I'm doing this for two reasons. One, it is hurting you, isn't it? You care about her, seeing her in pain probably is hurting you more than I could ever do to you. And two, I enjoyed that. A lot. Why not satisfy myself in the process?" he sounded possessed as his spoke, who could ever enjoy causing this much pain? He was obviously anything but human. Red John stepped closer to the two on the floor, and Jane stepped in between Red John and Lisbon.

"Don't you dare touch her again." Jane said forcibly. Red John laughed.

"You think you are going to stop me? Ha, stupid man." he pulled a switch blade from his back pocket, holding it to Jane's neck, "Now step aside, unless you want to see what magic I can do with a knife." he smiled, his eyes forming into two small slits. Jane stood his ground.

"Go ahead. You will not lay another hand on her as long as I am still breathing." Jane's heart pounding, but he knew Red John wouldn't kill him. Not there, not like that. He was an artist, he wouldn't risk loosing his chance to kill Jane the way he wanted to just to be able to get to Lisbon. Red John turned away towards the door, but turned back and spoke over his shoulder.

"Oh you think you've won." he laughed as he walked out, slamming the door behind him and Jane could hear the lock click back on the chain. Lisbon woke suddenly at the loud slam and began to sit up again.

"Shhhh..." Jane held his hands under her shoulders so if she were to suddenly collapse again, she wouldn't slam onto the cold, hard floor. Her breathing was heavy and she held her head with one of her hands.

"Where-?" her eyes were glazed as she looked around the empty room.

"Red John, he got us at the Miller's. Remember? We were following a lead..." he attempted to jog her memory. Her eyes widened, she obviously remembered.

"My head?" she was obviously still unable to form complete sentences. Jane pulled her hand off her head and began looking at the wound. Her hair was crusted with dried blood, but her wound didn't look too bad.

"You hit your head. Well, Red John pushed you, and..."

"No, I remember that." she seemed to be gathering herself quickly, and began to stand up, protesting to Jane's offered help. She was wobbly at first but soon seemed to be okay as she went. She walked to where she had been chained, looking at the red spot on the wall where her head had hit.

"Lisbon?" Jane stood and walked towards her.

"I'm fine Jane." she snapped. He walked closer to her, turning her to face him. He tipped her head up to look her in the eyes. Her face was set tightly at first. The first to go were her eyes. They began to round and glaze with tears. Then it was her lips as they began to quiver, no matter how tightly she held them together. Then her entire face dropped and she struggled to fight back her cries and Jane pulled her into a hug. He let her cry into his shirt and he stroked her hair, whispering that they would be okay. She reached her arms around him and held him tighter, gripped fistfuls of his shirt into her hands. He felt her body wrack and he rubbed her back. They stood there in the silence for a few minutes before lowering to the floor, where Jane still held Lisbon close to him and she still gripped onto him for dear life.

"What are we going to do?" she cried softly into his shirt.

"We are going to stay strong and we are going to survive this." he replied, more of a prayer than an answer. She nodded into him as he added, "We need to."

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**Ta-da! :) What did ya think? Reviews? :) Pwetty Pwese? For a Christmas Present? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**As you can probably gather by now, the POV will be switching a lot. Can't leave a long author's note cause I have to go study for a french final, now. Enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews! :)**

Chapter 3

My stomach was beginning to growl intensely when one of the men came back in; he was carrying two glasses of water and two pieces of bread. He didn't say anything, but placed everything on the ground and walked back out.

"Lisbon," I nudged her on the shoulder. I knew she was sleeping, being through what she'd been through, I didn't blame her for not wanting to be conscious for any of this. She moaned, rolling over and looking at me through red eyes. She was still crying. Seeing Lisbon crumble the way she had had broken my heart, but I promised myself I'd stay strong, for both of us. "Food." I whispered. She sat up, wincing, being still sore from... I didn't want to think about it.

I handed her a piece of bread and she picked up her glass of water, drinking the whole thing in a few second. I watched as she also quickly ate the bread, ending with a hand on her growling stomach. I looked down at my ration. I probably didn't need it as much as she did. I split my bread in half and handed one piece to Lisbon.

"No, Jane, you eat it, I'm fine." she insisted. I refused, not answering but continuing to hold it out to her. She looked at me for another moment, but then took it from me with a smile, "Thank you Jane."

We both ate quietly. It was the only bit of food we'd had since we got there, and we felt it would be the only food we'd get for a while.

"How're you feeling?" I asked her cautiously.

"I'm okay." she looked down at her empty glass, avoiding eye contact. Shame was written all over her face. What did she have to be ashamed of? She didn't do anything. I reached out a hand to place on her shoulder, but the touch made her shudder.

"Lisbon," I tried to make her look at me, "Teresa." I stated with more authority in my voice. She finally looked up at me, started by the use of her first name and the tone I had said it in. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It was him, Red John; the cold, sick bastard that should be ashamed, if anybody. Not you. You didn't ask for that." she averted her eyes from my face, hastily wiping a tear from her cheek that had fallen against her wishes.

"I know," she said lightly, forcing a smile on her face that refused to reach her eyes.

Before I could speak again, the sound of the chain on the opposite side of the door began rattling again. Lisbon tensed and seemed to move closer to me, seeking protection I wasn't sure I could provide. The door opened to reveal Red John, wearing his mask again, walking calmly into the room. His eyes showed a smile masked by the black fabric of what looked to be a skiing mask.

"Oh how darling," he said, "the little lady finding safety behind the spineless psychic." he walked closer to them.

"What do you want with us? Are you going to kill us?" Lisbon spoke out, stiffening with every step closer the serial killer took.

"You really want to know what I'm going to do?" he walked to her and grabbed her arm, pulling her hastily up off the floor, stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Leaning down, he whispered softly into her ear, so softly I barely could hear it. "I'm going to torture Jane in the best way I know possible." Lisbon's face was one of fear, anger, and nausea. I watched as his hand ran up and down her side. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to punch him hard in the face. No, I wanted to murder him. For my wife. For my daughter. For Lisbon.

Just then, a few of his men came in the room and grabbed me by the arms, pulling me onto my feet and out the door. I wish I hadn't, but I looked back at Lisbon just before I was all the way out of the room. Her eyes held something I had never, ever seen in her before. She was completely and utterly terrified. And just about then, I was too.

oOo

They finally allowed me to go to the bathroom. I didn't really have to go that bad, I had had other things on my mind. Like wondering what Lisbon was going through just about then. I didn't want to imagine he was doing... _that_ to her again. Maybe he was just talking to her, threatening her but not hurting her. I could only hope.

The men brought me to another room in that basement beside the last, and one that looked un-surprisingly similar to the last. They told me to wait, that he would be in there shortly. I sat on the cold ground, trying to ignore the cries I could hear from the room next door. Lisbon wasn't just crying anymore, she was sobbing. So hard I could hear it through the thick walls. I felt my own eyes filling with tears. What would be so bad to force the usually such stable agent into hysterics? Was this what Red John meant by torturing me in the best way possible: hurting Lisbon? If it was, it was working.

Finally, after about ten minutes, Red John walked through the door.

"Hello, Mr. Jane." he said, "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

"What did you do to her?" I said angrily, standing before he could touch me.

"Oh nothing, we just talked." his voice was way beyond unsettling. He took out a knife from his belt loop, "You know, I thought seeing the blood run from her porcelain skin would be satisfying, but I don't think anything could be more satisfying than watching it run from yours." The end of the knife was turned red, stained by Lisbon's blood, and probably that of many others. I couldn't bare to think of the extent of Lisbon's injuries; I just needed to get this over quick enough to go check on her.

Red John pulled a chair from the side of the room, sitting me down and tying my arms to the arms of the chair, palms up, and taking the silver blade, placing it against my wrist. Suicide cuts. More to add to my collection. He sliced slowly, and I watched as the crimson blood pooled at the sides of the blade. It didn't hurt though, well, not as much as it should. I was much more focused on Lisbon, intent on making this as brief as possible, only to be able to go to her, and hold her. It was all my fault. It was my fault.

"So Mr. Jane, this is not satisfying me. I was going for torture, and it's obviously not working. Maybe, this will strike a different chord." He reached into his black jacket's deep pockets, pulling out a small stack of wrinkled photographs., "I think you'll enjoy these," he searched for the first one to show me, "they're the highlight of my collection." He pulled the first one out, turning it in front of my face, and I felt bile rise in my throat. My heart started pouting, feeling as if it would pound out of my chest. I pulled at the restraints on my arms. I turned my head, but he pushed it back, forcing the photo in front of my face.

My daughter's blonde curls were draped across her pink pillow. She was sleeping. And there was a knife lying beside her. The sick bastard had taken photos of her as she slept, he sat there, _watching_ her. I didn't want to think about if he had pictures of the _process_ of killing her. But, he would be so cruel to show them. Why would I think any different?

"Lovely memories, right Mr. Jane?" Red John said to me, shuffling through the stack in his hands, giving me another. My wife. My Anglea. Crying. Begging. I couldn't handle it anymore, I closed my eyes and hung my head, refusing to move no matter the blows I received, from the handle of the knife or his hands alike. "Fine, if you want to be that way, we can continue this later- if that's what you wish."

Soon I felt strong hands gripping my arms, after cutting me loose, and pulling me to my feet. I refused to look up, however. I wouldn't until I was sure Red John was gone. When I did look up, we were back at the same door. The door that started all of our problems. It was opened and I was thrown inside, the door shutting quickly behind me.

It took me a moment to catch myself. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. And then I remembered, Lisbon. I looked out, and saw her across the room, curled up in a ball on the floor, her back to me.

"Lisbon!" I rushed to her side. I placed my hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move. I moved to study her face. Her emerald eyes were staring blankly ahead. I could see the tears gathering with each passing second. "Lisbon, what did he do to you? Sit up," I went to help her up.

"No!" she cried, "Don't touch me."

"What? What did he do? Are you okay?" I was even more worried now, and I examined her body for signs, of anything.

"N-no." she answered my question, closing her eyes, pushing a few tears down her cheek. "He... cut me. A lot. And um... well, at least he put my pants back on for me this time." her soft crying quickly turned into sobbing, which had turned into more pain as she visibly winced, and her hands flew to her stomach. "Jane, I need you to check the... the cuts. To see how deep they are." She grabbed the end of her shirt and painfully lifted it up to her chest.

I wanted to look away. My poor Lisbon, she didn't deserve this.

"They're pretty shallow, most of them." I looked at one that went from above her navel to the waistband on her pants. It was bleeding a lot more than the rest. "Except this one. I'm going to need to put pressure on it to get it to stop bleeding. Can you roll over onto your back?" She nodded and I helped her turn. Her face was so full of pain, it hurt me to think of the pain she must be in. "Okay, here I go," I had taken my jacket from earlier and folded it, "ready?"

"Mhh-hhmm." Lisbon was strong, she could handle this.

I placed it down, summoning my courage to press it to her, knowing how much it would hurt her. But, I knew this was something I needed to do, and I pressed, not too hard but enough to stop the bleeding. Her face contorted and her back arched, but she remained silent.

"I'll be okay," I promised. "The team has to know we are gone by now. They're probably looking for us, and um... I'm sure it wont be too long." As I continued to press my jacket to her, my mind flashed back to the photos Red John had sown me. Those were two people that I could not help; I couldn't stop the bleeding, I couldn't take away the fear. I didn't have the opportunity to be there for them. I was thankful now, that with Lisbon, I did have this opportunity. I could comfort and she could comfort me. She was the first person I had felt love for after the tragedy of my family, and I promised myself, I would never need to avenge her death. Because I wouldn't let her die.


End file.
